By Dr. A Chakravarthy
Unconsummated relation or non-consummation means couples are either unable to have successful sexual intercourse because of fear or lacking the power to perform penetrative sex. Sometimes, they are totally confused as to why this is happening to them. It is one of the significant reasons for sterility or infertility (the inability of a male to drop semen inside his wife’s vagina).
Non-consummation is often thought of as a men’s matter and infertility as women’s matter, but this is not always so. It can be disgracing and unmanageable for couples to talk about it. If the problem remains unsolved, it can become a punishing secret.
Causes for non-consummation
There may be many reasons for non-consummation. These may include:
- Lack of emotional involvement
- Fear of sexual act
- Inappropriate advice or information from friends and family before marriage about first night and sex
- Vaginismus (terrible cramp at the entrance of the vagina, which makes penetration impossible)
- Lack of arousal and less lubrication for the female
- Dyspareunia (painful intercourse)
- Thick hymen
- Erection problems or an inability to copulate
- Fear of pregnancy
- Sexual abuse in childhood
Complaints about non-consummation
- A majority of women have complained that either their partners have less erection to penetrate the vagina (erectile dysfunction) or they ejaculate outside the vagina (premature ejaculation)
- Some complained of having failed in vaginal penetration despite a good erection (anxiety about performance)
- Some patients had no erection for penetration (erectile dysfunction)
- Vaginismus in females leads to unsuccessful sexual intercourse
Signs of non-consummation
- Lack of desire for sex
- Irritating or painful experience while attempting intercourse
- Difficulty in insertion of penis into vagina
- Softening of penis while performing intercourse
- Ejection of semen before penetration
Major outcomes of non-consummation
- Marital Disharmony
- Breakdown of marriage
- Emotional disturbance and loss of self-esteem
- An inability to impregnate (infertility)
- Use of over-the-counter medicines to boost sex life badly affects health
- Alcoholism
Treatment for non-consummation
A physician can come up with a treatment plan only once he understands the root cause(s) of non-consummation in a couple. Medications should be taken for erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Sex therapy, in combination with pharmacological therapy, is a very effective method for treatment of non-consummation. The ultimate goal of sex therapy is to help couples overcome non-consummation worries so that they can lead a secure, pleasurable conjugal life.
