How to keep romance alive
Keeping romance alive
It is imperative to keep romance alive in a married life for intimacy and closeness between partners
By Mitch Temple
Life has a way of chipping away at our marriages: jobs and job related travel, in-laws, church activities, kids, conflict and misunderstandings. Most of us run at the speed of light, wake up one day and realise, "Huh. I don’t feel very close to my spouse anymore." The truth is that it happens to the best of us. Here are a few simple methods I have learned throughout the years to revive romance in a stale marriage.
Start dating again
Go out at least once a week. It doesn't have to be an expensive date– just something simple. A dinner in the park, a walk around the lake, a cup of coffee at a restaurant or simply putting the kids to bed early and just talking will often do the trick. Or, revisit the things that you did when you were dating like going to a movie or a nice relaxing dinner for two. After being "pulled apart" by all the pressures of modern life, it is imperative to reconnect each week. If you don't, you won't feel close.
Make yourself attractive
If you make yourself more attractive, your spouse will often become more attractive to you. Quite often, changes that you make in your appearance can precipitate changes in your spouse just as positive actions often breed positive reactions.
Go to the gym together
*Walk with your spouse three to five times a week
*Buy new clothes and throw out those ugly sleep shirts/pajamas
*Shave the beard (men only) or change your hairstyle
*Get new eye glasses or try contacts
Communicate your desires with your spouse
Do so in non-threatening, non-judgmental ways. For example, you could say, "Honey, let's make some changes. We are both in a rut. We've changed over the years and lost some of the spark in our marriage. Let's change how we treat each other. Let's call each other during the day at work. Let's change how we look. Let's walk together each evening."
Avoid using "you" statements
Use "I feel" or "I need" instead. Try writing a letter as an alternative to face to face communication, especially if you feel he/she will react negatively.
Attraction doesn't just occur in a marriage. It is something that must be worked at. Often the process of bringing attraction begins with education and basic communication. Determine what it is that makes you feel attracted to someone. What attracted you to your partner in the first place? What are the things that you find attractive that you would like to see in your spouse? What gets your attention?
Do good things dailyDoing good things doesn't necessarily require spending a lot of money. Simple things like picking up your dirty underwear, giving a free back rub, preparing dinner, writing an appreciative note, hand picking flowers or taking on a chore that your partner normally does build intimacy and closeness in your marriage like nothing else
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